What is True Success?

Success is that elusive creature we all chase. But often times, we never realize that the shiny objects we chase are just tricks of the light. You might think success is all about tangible results: getting that corner office, winning the lottery, or at least not burning your toast for once. But let me excuse you from that charmingly naive notion: success isn’t about winning. It’s about doing your best. More often, this involves at least convincing yourself that whatever half-hearted effort you managed to scrape together was your best.

 

Now, don’t go thinking you need to be the best in your field. The idea of being "the best" is as exhausting as it’s overrated. What you really need to be is the best at whatever it is you’re already good at right now. Whether that’s folding laundry, avoiding phone calls, or perfectly timing when to slip into the office unnoticed after arriving late — be the best at that, and call it success.

 

The Great Lie of Material Wealth

 

Let’s clear up another common misconception: success isn’t about driving the most expensive car or hoarding billions in the bank like some modern-day Scrooge McDuck. True success, as I’ve come to realize in my moments of caffeinated clarity, has nothing to do with what you own. If anything, it’s about what you don’t own, like a closet full of clothes that don’t fit anymore.

 

So, what is true success? It boils down to these four things:

 

1.  Live your life to the fullest (but don’t exhaust yourself trying).

2.  Live life on your own terms (or at least on terms you can live with).

3.  Give everything you do your all (and then lower your expectations).

4.  Live without regret (because regret is just another form of self-torture).

 

Sounds easy, right? It’s not. But who said success was supposed to be easy?

 

“Live your life to the fullest” is often declared like it’s some magical mantra that will solve all your problems. But like most clichés, it’s rooted in something vaguely resembling truth. But, how do you figure out what “the fullest” means to you?  It may surprise you to learn that it doesn’t mean being hyper-productive every day or achieving something monumental before breakfast. Sometimes, it just means finding a new streaming series to binge — one you actually enjoy — or actually finishing a book for once.

 

Whatever you do, avoid sitting around waiting for life to happen to you. Life is happening whether you’re paying attention or not. So, you might as well try to make the most of it. By “make the most of it,” I mean do what you can, when you can. Don’t sweat it when you can’t. Trust me, there’s no prize for burning yourself out in the name of "living fully.” But, what about living life on “your own terms?”

 

The dream of living life on your own terms is a concept that sounds wonderful in theory, but it’s often about as realistic as a fairy tale. Sure, you could quit your job, move to a remote island, and live off coconuts. But truthfully, living life on your own terms is less about telling the world to shove it and more about knowing when to compromise.

 

You see, the real art of success lies in understanding when to stand your ground and when to give a little. Often, you just give enough to keep things moving forward without completely selling out. But, what about giving your all?

 

Seriously, most of us are experts at doing the bare minimum. Why not? It’s efficient, it saves energy, and it leaves more time for naps. But, sometimes giving your all — in short bursts, at least — actually makes things easier in the long run. It’s a strange paradox. When you put in full effort, you start noticing ways to make even the most mundane tasks less unbearable, maybe even, dare I say, fun.

 

Now if you go ahead and pour yourself into whatever task is at hand, just don’t expect a standing ovation. You won’t get a raise or even employee of the month for cleaning the bathroom or filing those TPS reports. Success in this context is more about personal satisfaction than public recognition, and that’s probably for the best.

 

Next up, is living without regret actually possible, or is it a farce in the making? Regret is a powerful beast, the kind that loves to rear its ugly head at 3 AM when you’re trying to sleep. It’s the “what if” that haunts your dreams and the “if only” that shadows your days. But, in the grand scheme of things, regret is useless. You can’t change the past. Even if you could, frankly who has the time to worry about the possible paradoxes that would create?

 

Living without regret doesn’t mean not having regrets. You just learn to live with them. If you stop letting your regrets hold you back, you’ll start to see regret for what it is. They’re meant as reminders that you tried and you failed, but you have to also remember you’re still here anyway. That’s something to celebrate, not sit around and mope about.

 

So, my take on success is that it’s not about winning or losing. Rather, it’s about how well you convince yourself that you’re winning, even when you’re clearly not. It’s about setting your own bar, and then stepping over it with all the grace of a drunk trying to navigate a sidewalk. Success is personal, subjective, and often completely absurd. Hey, that’s life. If you can laugh at it, you’re already winning.

 

~ Amelia Desertsong