Dangers of Being a Packrat

 

For many years, I was a packrat. No doubt I held onto many things of no use to me. Perhaps it is only because I have collected things for so long that I have now decided that I need to share my collection with everyone else. What use are things when they are thrown up on high shelves and stuffed into bookcases? I don’t know, but sometimes, the world outside is just too screwy to be able to deal with, and these books and other material things are my escape from that outside world that can be so cruel. Having things is so important in our society; no matter what our situation, the more things that we have, supposedly the better we should feel.

 

Well, as many material items as I have that just sit around collecting dust and slowly disintegrating into their constituent elements as atomic bonds slowly decay, I have kept far more things within me that I don’t need. There are so many bad memories and regrets in my brain that it is so much easier to simply block them out – but then I feel I’m cutting off half of my self. I need that darker side – we all do. We can’t just go hide in all of the stuff that we’ve collected – whether physical or metaphysical – we must go out and face that evil world that in fact, may not be quite as evil as some make it out to be...

 

You can’t sell your soul, as burdened as it may become. You are who you are, and who you’ve been has so much to do with what you are now. Perhaps that is why so many material things of mine are still around in my storage spaces – and overflowing from those spaces, as well. We human beings tend to be such sentimental creatures. We keep items that bring back a memory – we keep those items that bring back the “good times.” The problem with reflection, however, is how caught up you can become in it.

 

We can all remember where many of our possessions came from. Many times we can remember where or when. But even more often, we have a memory associated with so many things. We live in a physical universe in which the creatures which come from our thoughts become so important to us. In effect, in a way, all that we possess is a part of us, a memory is assigned to each thing we have even bought, received, or found. Sometimes those things carry very negative connotations and meanings.

 

Sometimes those things can’t just be thrown away: bad memories and regrets. You can’t sell them on eBay, nor at a yard sale, not anywhere. And they can’t just be forgotten. They are a part of what you are, and to deny them expression is only destructive to yourself. If you let them stay inside unmentioned or unexpressed, they will eat you alive. My life has given me living proof of this. Open up and share. You’ll feel a lot better.

 

~ Amelia