I Tried...

The Wise Yoda once said "Do or do not, there is no try."

Well, I tried. Guess that's a failure on my part.

I think about this quote a lot. Probably more than I reasonably should. I suppose you could see "try" as putting forth some amount of effort, but not the true amount of effort that you could if you knew the end result were only absolutely success or failure.

Yet I keep trying. I don't believe in absolutes. There is always some grey area. I'll keep trying to explain what I mean... I mean, I will do my best to explain what I mean. Do or do not...

Missing Too Little or Too Much?

Have you ever asked yourself, what am I missing? Perhaps it's more that our lives are so full as they are that we lose sight of what things are really important. Life today is an overload of things, concerns, worries... there are certainly still joys, entertainments, and good moments, but after awhile it seems we are missing too much of the positive and drowning in an ocean of negatives. Are we simply missing on where to draw the positive from?

NFL Admits Mistake with Husain Abdullah Penalty

You see that thing about the Chiefs player, safety Husain Abdullah, getting a 15-yard “un-sportsman-like conduct” penalty for his prayer in the end zone? Like, what the eff? Seriously, refs? Abdullah is well known to be a devout Muslim, and he had indeed before promised that if he ever picked off a pass and returned it for a touchdown, he would “prostrate before God in the end zone.”

To be honest, the penalty probably only happened because it was a Monday Night Football game. Because you know, we don't have religious freedom in America. And the media and referees love the New England Patriots and didn’t want the almighty Pats being shown up. I’m a Patriots fan and I was perfectly okay with Abdullah keeping his promise to his Lord.

The NFL doesn't need any more controversy. He did something perfectly OK with me. It’s not like he did anything negative. The NFL didn't fine him or anything. It was an in-game "un-sportsman-like conduct" call, just a 15 yard penalty assessed on the kickoff. But it’s the very concept behind calling it. For years, you've seen players praise God after great plays. This is no different.

Actually, thankfully, the NFL did respond the right way to the incident...

Read the rest of "NFL Admits Mistake with Husain Abdullah Penalty" on Sports Break!

Understanding and Working on Self-Awareness

What does it mean to work on Self-Awareness? It's about the ability to be aware how and why you make particular choices in response to certain things. It’s about learning what your triggers are, but not necessarily learning how to prevent whatever those triggers are.

The idea is to learn how to better react to certain situations or how not to react to them at all. But without simply focusing on the negative triggers, you always want to consider what you react positively to, as well. It's figuring out how to balance yourself in a way that you can have a cool approach to everything.

Tempering Your Expectations

One thing that might sound a bit odd at first is that you can actually react too positively to something. Many times in my life I have looked forward to a particular event, whether that be a new TV show being aired or some big new project being given to me that can net me lots of money.

Well, sometimes that show ends up being a let-down and then you react quite negatively to that disappointment. I'm fairly picky in what I watch, so my disappointment is usually kept to a minimum. But some people really get bent out of shape when their expectations are let down. Fortunately, this is an area that myself I consider that I have a strength. I tend to keep my expectations of television shows and movies to a minimum.

I will go into a film without many preconceptions, which is why I tend to avoid reviews - especially ones with spoilers - before actually viewing anything. It's not that spoilers will necessarily ruin the viewing experience for me, but then I will go into the viewing with more precise expectations than I would have otherwise. Understanding how you handle expectations is one of the first things to do when working on your self-awareness skills. Now that I've shown you a strength, I will show you a weakness when it comes to my expectations.

Understanding Your Circumstances, Then Putting Them in the Correct Perspective

As I've worked in freelance writing for some time, I can tell you that many times you're going to have projects fall through for one reason or another. Truthfully, the only expectation that I have with a project is that it will pay me money. I've taken far less than I should in rate pay oftentimes just to get work, which often leaves me feeling like I'm giving away more of myself than I should.

Well, if I'm so well-aware that I'm short-changing myself, then why do I do it? It’s because I’ve long had the expectation that if I ask too much, I won't get the project. If I ask too little, people will wonder why I'm doing it so cheaply and have a similar reaction.

I've had plenty of past experiences where work was offered and I either mulled over it too long or I didn't really offer much enthusiasm and lost the work. As you'll learn in working freelance, though, as I work for an hourly rate most of the time and not a flat rate - the more time-consuming the project is, the more profitable it can end up being.

At least I am aware of how I am handling a particular situation. Obviously, I can't bank on a single opportunity going through. But pickings can be so slim, as the autumn tends to be the slow season for freelance content work until the holiday season really picks up. But of course, the holidays I'm talking about are the ones where you buy a lot of presents that no one really wants anyway. Perhaps I should be writing also about self-control, but Self-Awareness I think can serve as an umbrella for that concept.

Being Aware When Things Are Getting Off-Track

OK, I tend to have a terrible tendency to really get off-track. But see, at least I am aware that I get distracted and off-topic from time to time. But sometimes, especially in the freelance world, it’s easy to get off-track when work that you’re expected to come in simply doesn’t realize itself.

I'm aware of how important a project is to me based on when it is being offered. When there is other work available to me that's not all that lucrative, I might choose to shun the few measly dollars I'd earn in order to produce other content that I believe in. I've had a lot of "failed" projects, too. You don't always win and being aware of how you deal with failure is extremely important. You need to learn from it, not let it drag you down and keep you drifting off-track.

As you can see, I'm aware of many of my strengths and weaknesses when it comes to my understanding of how things affect me. I really meant to focus on the emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of decision making and understanding how aware you are of these things. How have you made some decisions today? Have they been more from the heart or from your head? Or did you do something just because you needed a lift?

Trust me, every day I need to write to satisfy all three. At least I'm strongly aware of that much!

- Roxy <3

Photo credit: Pixabay, public domain

Dazzled by Star Power

Star power has become so important in today's society. It is incredible what an individual today will do even for those infamous "fifteen minutes of fame." Celebrity has been a powerful force in media for a great many years. But, with twenty-four hour news coverage now not only possible, made essentially necessary due to the explosion of social media reporting things as they happen... it seems like it's either news of violence or news about celebrities. There's very little "good" news anymore.


While it's awesome to see that a famous couple had a baby, most of the time I really could care less about where a celebrity was spotted or what they were wearing. Celebrities, believe it or not, are just ordinary people like us. Imagine if there was somebody stalking me with a smartphone. All I'd have to do is walk out of the house. I swear within no time, there will be a photo on the internet of me in my jean shorts and baggy T-shirt with my hair up in a scrawny little ponytail.


Being as cute as I am, it will probably go viral and so many silly clever little bloggers will be writing about me. I'd still be pretty upset. You should've let me at least do my hair, put on a bit of mascara and blush, and get on some nicer sneakers.


If you're anyone in the celebrity world, be in fashion, or music, or movies, you're basically constantly stalked. We talk about "Big Brother" watching us all the time. For celebrities, that is your life. You are constantly being scrutinized for every tiny thing you do. Then you wonder why celebrities go off and do some really effed up things.


Part of it, I'm sure, really is stress. That constant attention does wear on a lot of people. Some obviously thrive on it. A lot don't. That's why there are plenty of celebrities that like to just disappear when they're not on the job. Good for them.


I just hope these celebrity attention-mongers will eventually get bored and realize that they should perhaps be journaling something else. Like, I don't know. Doctors saving lives. People helping people. Highlighting local teachers or community leaders. You know, things that might actually inspire people to do more with their lives?


Sorry, I'm asking too much. By the way, heading out to the convenience store. And I'm gonna put on heels, my sparkliest purple eyeshadow, bright blue lipstick, and I'll have curled my hair. I'm gonna kill those jean shorts and that old rag of a black t-shirt.


See your pix soon, guys and gals! Be sure to get my best side!


- Roxy

Roxy Aurora (formerly known as Phoenix Desertsong) fancies herself a writer and expresses herself on a wide variety of topics including human rights, self-improvement, and kittens. She wants to use her ability and talent to write words to improve people’s lives in any way possible. She also really wants to be a cat lady.

Oh What Tangled Webs Content Spinners Weave!

As someone who has bounced from writing site to writing site, I've dealt with some fine communities of people. But I often have left due to poor payouts - pennies per article - or because the site was terribly spammy and it simply would make me look bad to have my content on there. I am a bit proud of my writing and if it's being associated with "spamminess" in the least, I want nothing of that.

Recently, someone quite dear to me joined a new writing site. I won't mention the individual's name or the website in question, but apparently someone who is quite active on the site is parading around acting like she's some incredible speed-writer. She somehow can rack up something like $10 a day by whipping out post after post. Of course, you know how this happens? Spun content.

Now I've seen my share of plagiarism. It's a crime that's been around for centuries. Online, it's become a sort of epidemic. Oh, but it's even worse than that. Spun content is put through some sort of program that jumbles things around just enough that duplication checkers don't red-flag it. 

Apparently, this one lady has the gall to be sweet and sociable and people are thinking she's LEGIT? Oh, look I need 10 more blog posts today. Who do you know who can write TEN posts a day? OK, I could probably do it, but seriously, if you look at the site, it's OBVIOUSLY spun. Some are easier to catch than others. But the "author credit" does it for me.

My dear companion is very torn about it. Apparently this member is one of the top earners on this young site and is so clearly getting away with it. She's apparently already been reported and nothing's been done. 

Should she be called out? I can't see why not. I just know I won't be joining any site where that's happening without any sort of consequence. If it's said that it can't be proved since duplicate checkers won't work, just look at the content. It's clearly not written with the same voice.

Oh, my, that's right I'm a real writer. I guess only we real writers could pick that up. Seriously, dude, if you're going to run a writing site and you see how suspicious that person is "writing" clearly very random content that has author credits on it that link to nothing, um, yeah, red alert? All crew to battle-stations?

I'm just sad that people are just gaming these sites. No wonder they fail. Yet many keep letting the webs be spun, stealing the revenue from people like moi who actually put blood, sweat, and tears into her words.

I'll take that bitch for a spin... She won't like it! But I will!

~ Roxy

Photo credit: Pixabay, Public Domain

Life Happens

I have not been writing quite as much lately as I perhaps would like. There are many reasons for this, first and foremost, this thing called life has been happening. It has not been a beautiful and melodious time. Musicals will not be inspired by the events of the past week...

OK, maybe one could be, but it would be some mix between emo and death-metal and the lyrics would be screamed in the highest possible pitch that a human voice box can produce. It's been hell.

But there is the future, yes? Things have not been falling into place for me so much. However, I am determined to keep my eyes looking forward.

I found an interesting little diversion today to lift my spirits, a little app called BitStrips. I'm having a ball with it. Too much of a ball, in fact.

But, believe me, after the stress of the past month, I'm happy to finally sit down and maybe write a few things. I've had topics on my mind, but I've been a bit jumbled as far as what seems to be the priority to get out.

 I've dealt with a lot of conflicting passions lately, and some rather terrible bouts with anxiety and depression. I'm not perfect. I am not having a good time.

But I need to pull myself together. I have some friends going through a lot of trouble, a couple of them dealing with suicidal thoughts and overwhelming feelings of hopelessness. A couple are somehow keeping a positive outlook and staying the course. (God, I feel like Gee Double Ya Bush saying that...)

I've always tended to be a bit pragmatic and very much sarcastic. I tend to have a rather dark sense of humor but I know that love is still my favorite currency in the universe. I never seem to have a lack of it. Has it bought me happiness? No, not quite, but my tendency towards affection has given me some friendships that I could never imagine living without.

 I intend to stand by my dear friends. One is doing far better, and I'm looking forward to help promote her new book that should be published soon. At least the universe is favoring someone. Hopefully, the All Powerful Feline Overlord - or whatever omnipotent, omnipresent diety you'd like to believe in that's mucking up our daily lives with all these trials and tribulations - gives the rest of us a break soon!

OK, I'm gonna go take two Screwidol and call it day!

Love always!